How To Turn Your Spectra Into A Crime Fighting Machine
We all know the sleeper car Kia Spectra gets no love in automotive magazines or online. They say it’s flimsy, trashy and not enough bang for your buck. But Kia drivers know different. In fact, we at Kiapedia (which is made up primarily of Kia owners/operators) have gone so far as to construct a Kia Spectra into the next generation (poor man’s) Batmobile…
Step 1 - Armor Plating
The first thing you need to do is strip that gorgeous Kia factory paint job from your car and replace the outer shell with some high quality armor. If it’s within your budget, we suggest going to Halliburton and picking up some of that material they use on presidential limos. If you’re working on a budget then head on over to the local junk yard and gather up as much metal plating as possible. After that, all you’ll need is a blowtorch and you’re ready to take a few bullets, or shots from a flame thrower.
Step 2 - Rocket Boosters
Frankly, no crime fighter is complete without a vehicle that can defy the laws of seed with a jet powered booster. But it ain’t easy trying to drive anything traveling at such intense speed. We suggest hooking up some Nos tanks to your Spectra and taking her out for a little late night race track fun. Get comfortable with the speed, then hook a couple of small aircrafts engines to your ride.
Step 3 - Missiles & Machine Guns
With your car fully protected and ready to make an escape we now have to get this Kia ready to run into a battle. The best thing would be hooking up at least one retractable Vulcan cannon, which launches bullets that measure half a foot long. A couple of roof mounted missiles couldn’t hurt either - but make sure you replace your lip with some heat resistant panels of you’ll head will fry off after launch.
Step 4 - Defense Technology
Ok, so you’re protected on the outside, but as part of a crime fighting force your Kia Spectra will need the latest in internal defense technology and a built-in crime lab. Kiapedia recommends the Knight Rider system - X-Ray, infrared, finger print analysis and a computer linked into CIA, FBI and local law enforcement servers. Hmm…getting permission for that last part may be a little tricky…oh well, never stopped Bruce Wayne!
Step 5 - A Bad Ass Paint Job & Nickname
Lastly, all you’ll need is a mean looking paint job (flat black with red flames?) and a cool name for your Kia battle-car. How about The Spectrum? Sounds like something in an OBGYN office, but it’s a start! Now get out on the road and save the day in your local urban area!
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